Thank You, Fox

"It'll be over soon, you won't be in pain anymore." Taken at 9:17am on 10/30/19, 18 minutes before he took his last breath.

It's not fair.

It's what I have been saying for the past few days. It's not fair that our dog died. It's not fair that we had to put him down. It's not fair that he suffered from all of his symptoms. It's not fair that we could not enjoy his yogurt, burgers, french fries and all the human food we got for him even if he loved them when he was well. It's not fair that Fox is so loved and he had to leave so soon. It is not fair that we know he loves us but we had to decide it's time for him to stop loving us. It's not fair.

I am feeling anger today. Anger in everything, in every situation. It's a surprise to me that I lasted the entire day without blowing up.

We adopted Fox on May 26, 2013 at 11 in the morning and he took his last breath on October 30th, 2019. We only had 6 years, 5 months, 3 days, 22 hours, 35 minutes with him. We want more but life isn't just fair.

I wrote the letter below to Fox while putting Adler to sleep on October 9th, 2019.

Thank You, Fox

I didn’t know who or what I was looking for when we were looking for a dog to adopt. I just wanted to save one life. The lady at the adoption event handed you to daddy and you yelped, that’s when she said that you’re not comfortable being carried. Daddy handed you to me, you did not yelp, you relaxed in my arms. I wanted you then and there but we decided to sleep on it except I couldn’t sleep because I WANTED YOU. I already fell in love with you.

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Ruff Life

On August 29th, we found out our “eldest” as we refer to him has carcinoma. Our dog has carcinoma. Our 12-pound ball of fluff has carcinoma. He had three biopsy samples taken from his bladder, prostate and trigone area and all three came back positive with carcinoma consistent with Urothelial Carcinoma. There were bullet train fast thoughts that ran to my head at that moment.

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Memorial Day Weekend Wins

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A post shared by Mama Jan 🤗 (@janmiguel) on May 27, 2019 at 9:41pm PDT

Getting to spend three whole days with Adler is already the highlight of my year. We did not plan a lot of things for Memorial Day weekend, we knew we just wanted to keep active and do things together and not eat out. We definitely did not eat out which is a huge win for us since we love eating. Adler however had so many wins this long weekend. I like waiting when he's ready to do things and I'm glad we do that because it gives Adler what kids love having the most--control.
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Lolo's Boy

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From running around wineries and parks to walking on frozen lakes, from hiking together and looking for fish in the clear water of Banff’s rivers and lakes, these two were always together during our trip. From the moment dad got to my aunt’s place in Vancouver, Adler recognized him, ran up to him and talked to him right away. It was precious. They remind me of my relationship with my lolo.🥰 . . #missionhillwinery #lakelouise #marshloop #sulfurmountain #emeraldlake #burnabymountainpark #granvilleisland

A post shared by Mama Jan 🤗 (@janmiguel) on Apr 21, 2019 at 8:24am PDT

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Challenges

It's been a difficult few weeks. The storm started right after Adler's birthday where Adler and I both caught a stomach bug. The holidays were wonderful, my aunt and uncle flew in from Canada and spent a few nights with us. We got sick again after that wonderful and awkward first work week of 2019. Then another wave of ill weeks followed. We are all currently recovering with the rest of our relatives who in their own ways, caught a strain of the flu themselves.
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Living with Intent + Nostaligia

Why am I buying this? To make our home more cozy. Would I keep thinking about it if I don't buy it? No. - It's a no.

Why am I buying this? I think Adler would love it. Does he usually like things like this? Yes. Would it make our home happier? Yes. - It's a yes.

Why am I donating this? I bought it to create a look for my blog 4 years ago. - Donate. 

Why do I have this scarf again? It's someone's gift. Do I love it? No. - Donate.

Why am I keeping this? I don't know.  - Let it go.

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Our Top 5 Beach Must-Haves with a Toddler

We finally got to go back to the beach since our trip to Hawaii last April but this time, we were more prepared because we're coming from our house. We also broke out and used one of our favorites gifts to Adler last Christmas!

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