On August 29th, we found out our “eldest” as we refer to him has carcinoma. Our dog has carcinoma. Our 12-pound ball of fluff has carcinoma. He had three biopsy samples taken from his bladder, prostate and trigone area and all three came back positive with carcinoma consistent with Urothelial Carcinoma. There were bullet train fast thoughts that ran to my head at that moment.
Why my dog?
Why us?
Why would this happen?
How long does he have?
Why my dog?
What can we do?
How do we know if he’s hurting?
Can we make sure he’s not hurting?
What about our dreams of getting older with him?
What about our dream of Adler growing up with Fox and Chippy?
Everything is still up in the air since it’s a long weekend and offices are closed.
Fox is his demanding happy self still. Still not allowing Chippy and Adler to be rowdy and still way into treats. Him being normal makes me worry about the time when he can no longer do things he loves but we’re trying to be positive and focus on the now. He has always been a ray of life and sunshine and he brings so much joy into our lives. I knew the time would come when we have to let him go. Deep in my heart, I’ve always wanted our dogs to pass away before I do so they don’t have to wonder where I have gone but I didn’t know we’d have to think about it this soon.
In the meantime, we’ll continue to love him deeply and let him express his devotion to us even if that means he will be licking off the lotion I had just lathered on my legs.
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