A Letter from the Past, for My 12-Week-Old Child

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As I was browsing through the notes in my phone, I came across something I wrote back in March 6th, 2017. It’s only been a year and a couple of months since then but reading it brought back so many emotions, so many realizations, so much gratefulness.

3/6/17 2:34am

In today's first meal, I woke up, remembered what day it was, smelled my hungry baby's tiny little head then offered my left breast. It was around 2:30 am of the day I am going to be away from my son for the whole day.

It's my first day back to the office later today and as I am pumping one of his meals because I won't be close to him to nurse him anymore, I think of the moments that I will be missing; his morning talkative-ness, his needy cries, staring at him and watching his beautiful eyes smile while nursing, the way he stops crying in his sleep once I let him hold my fingers, his automatic omg-it's-mama smile and many, many more quirks that this little guy already has. My 12 weeks with him flew by. I was telling Ron last night how it feels like we just took him home and that in 9 months, we'll be having a one-year-old. Adler is my daily reminder of how fast time goes by. From the day we found out I was pregnant, he has already made me feel so many emotions. Happiness, euphoria, exhaustion, guilt and regret just to name a few. He is life's wonderful unexpected gift to me and Ron. He makes me so goddamn proud of myself for what I have accomplished in the past several weeks. I've birthed a baby, my body fed and feeds him, I got through a pretty serious few weeks of baby blues (IT WAS SO FREAKING REAL), I have somewhat stayed sane, and my husband and I became an even better team. 

Thank you, my darling for being awesome. I will miss everything about your first quarter on earth. Now onto our next chapter!


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